Chocolate Mousse

I don't know how to wear lipstick.  Clarification: I am incapable of applying lipstick.

I'm not sure how this happened, because my mother is an expert lipstick-applicator.  She could probably do it in the dark.

Beat the egg yolks until thick and pale.  Beat in the sugar.

I wear gloss just fine.  And chapstick is fine.

Temper the yolks with the hot milk, then cook the mixture on low heat for a few minutes until thick.

But lipstick?  I didn't get the lipstick-application gene from my mother.  It's a thing.

Stir in the chocolate.  Doesn't this look delicious and smooth?

Once there was a lipstick incident in the car.  I was trying to apply it, and in the end I looked like a clown and the back of my car seat had red lipstick on it.

Cover it - directly on top of the chocolate mixture - with plastic wrap.  Refrigerate until chilled.

Yes, the back of the car seat in which I was seated had lipstick on it.  I'm still not sure how that happened.

The mixture is chilled! And wonderfully thick.

I don't think I've tried to apply lipstick since.  That was about nine years ago.

For the record, it's not entirely my fault.  My upper lip is asymmetrical.  And the application process is not as easy as it looks.

Whip the cream.  Do you like my action shot?  My beater is going so fast you can't even see it!  I'm easily entertained.

Now it's fine with me to not wear lipstick because I kiss on my babies all the time.  Baby Bear would be covered in sticky pink (asymmetrical) lips all the time.

Now we're ready to combine the light, fluffy whipped cream with the thick, dense chocolate custard.

How is any of this related to chocolate pudding?

Just fold it in.  Do not stir aggressively or vigorously.  You don't want to deflate that perfectly whipped cream!

Beats me.  But since I haven't told you anything about this actual recipe, here goes: this mousse is yummy.  It's fluffy and creamy and rich and sweet and chocolatey but not too sweet.  It's simple and good and really just what a chocolate mousse should be.

It looks like a zebra.  Just keep folding.

I just typed "mouse" instead of mousse.  Just to be perfectly clear, there are no mice in this pudding.

Since I'm off topic again, I'm going to say goodbye.  But the next time you need a good chocolate mousse (or mouse), I hope you think of me and my lipstick dilemma.  I mean this recipe.

And you're there.  A fluffy, smooth, homogeneous mixture.  Absolutely perfect.

Whatever.

Chocolate Mousse
Adapted from Betty Crocker Cookbook

4 large egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup whole milk
1 cup (6 oz.) chopped semisweet chocolate (don't use chips because they don't melt perfectly smooth)
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
2 T sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract

Beat the egg yolks in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment for about 3 minutes on high speed until thick and pale yellow.  Gradually beat in sugar.

Heat the milk in a saucepan until hot. (Do not boil.)

Temper the eggs with the hot milk by pouring about half the milk into the egg/sugar mixture while stirring constantly.  Return the warm egg mixture to the saucepan and cook over low heat for about 5 minutes, stirring constantly, until the mixture is thick and coats the back of a wooden spoon.  Do not boil.

Stir in the chopped chocolate until melted.  Cover the chocolate mixture with a piece of plastic wrap directly on the mixture (this will keep a "skin" from forming on top).  Refrigerate until cool (this will take about 2 hours).

When the chocolate mixture is chilled, beat the whipping cream on high speed until stiff peaks form.  Slowly add the 2 tablespoons sugar and vanilla extract.  Fold the chocolate mixture and whipped cream together, being careful not to deflate the cream.

Spoon into one large serving dish or individual dishes and refrigerate until ready to serve.